Although rewarding, bringing up children is probably the most demanding job you will ever have. Playing a part in bringing up someone else’s children, is on another level entirely.
Many of us can relate to this, but as a mom we all know too well that it’s not all ballet lessons, football practice, bedtime stories and cuddles. Raising a child, even the most well-behaved, can be incredibly hard work.
We love our children unconditionally from the moment they are born, so most of the things they do, no matter how bad, can be forgiven, put up with even. But how does that play out when the child isn’t yours?
Your partner has a child from another relationship, with a woman you most likely can’t stand the sight of. Obviously this is her fault as she gives you daggers every time she sees you. You have her man after all and now you are pretending to be mom to the most precious thing in her life. Well, that’s a common scenario in my opinion. Even if you get on, you had nothing to do with the relationship ending and you frequently drink tea together while collecting the children, or maybe the child’s biological mother isn’t even on the scene anymore. How does it work?
You don’t have that feeling of unconditional love that the biological parent has, yet you still have to endure all the ups and downs that come with any child. No matter how strong the bond, how well you get one, sooner or later that resentment creeps in. Usually after you’ve gloated about how amazing your bond is with the child and how they prefer you to their real mom. So now you feel even more annoyed. Why didn’t you just put your foot down in the first place, as making the child initially so welcome, has backfired spectacularly with an almighty bang!!!
Maybe I’m being harsh here. After all, the above may not be the case at all. You have welcomed your partners child into your life. Treated them like you own. Bought them gifts, braided their hair, mopped up their sick and wiped the tears. Yet everytime you have a perfectly normal row they tell you they hate you and that you’ve no right to tell them off as they don’t belong to you!! “Well thank god for that’ I hear you say. Why shouldn’t you say that? Well I guess it’s because you are the grown up and they are the child. Kids are hard work but they are kids. They are confused and complicated, they have hormones and attitude but they have feelings too and so, we just have to do our best, even though sometimes, our best just doesn’t seem like enough.
I guess what I’m saying here is, you cant have your cake and eat it. You need to be consistent with kids, you cant decide one minute that you want to be your step kids best friend then the next, their arch enemy! But listen here kids… Stepmom’s, Dad’s & regular parents alike, should really be applauded. You are amazing and you bring us an immense amount of pleasure but one day you will find out that being a parent, really is no walk in the park!!!